Woolfy
If You Know What’s Good For Ya!!
Rating: 2.0/5.0
Label: DFA/Rong
Although I hate the term, it would be a disservice to the greater Los Angeles music scene, from its assembly line soundalikes to its innovative elite, to deny Simon “Woolfy” James’ debut as anything other than unadulterated Eurotrash. The British transplant may have moved to Socal in his middle school days, but the smell of his homeland’s influence stubbornly clings to If You Know What’s Good For Ya!! like a bad rash. It’s not that his audacious combination of funk, old-school electronica, disco and rock mix poorly under the aural microscope. So, what’s to blame? How does one with such a breadth of musical upbringing (his father was in the Scottish band Marmalade prior to managing L.A. bands for Geffen in the 1980s) and an ever-increasing portfolio of beats and underground projects so vastly miss the bulls eye of this potentially compelling hybrid?
If If You Know What’s Good For Ya!! excels at one thing, it’s in its self-mockery. Perhaps this wasn’t Woolfy’s intention, but with such an array of tawdry melodies emulating the more embarrassing qualities of disco, it seems almost undeniable. Woolfy draws much of his sound from his collaboration with Dan Hastie under their many guises, most prominently Woolfy vs. Projections. Siphoning out the more carefully textured layers of their work, Woolfy is too keen on dressing up and exaggerating his arrangements with the most kitschy, processed synthesizer sounds, half of which sound like they came from The 1980′s Worst Factory Synthesizer Presets Contest. The rampant musical voids on tracks like “Lao the Disco” and “The Warehouse” are stuffed with plenty of examples that fail to compensate for the lack of musicianship.
For a dance album, there isn’t much of a motivation to get the asses gyrating. Most of the beats suffer from severe anemia. Good For Ya!! will surely come off as unenthusiastic and lackluster to even the most diehard night-clubber. If you’ve ever wanted to vicariously experience a cokehead’s sluggish, morning-after hangover, this is the album for you. The ubiquitously elementary guitar and synthesizer interplay only reinforces the bland aftertaste the album leaves in your mouth. Repetitive chords and bass licks in “The Warehouse” and “Two FarGone” require a semblance of patience music shouldn’t require. Maybe that’s because neither song builds to any sort of climactic arc. Ironically, the remixes of these tracks, contributed by Carlos Hernandez and Lee Douglas, close the album with the umph! Woolfy fails to evoke.
The middle section offers a more ethereal, reflective tone, sort of in the realm of Woolfy vs. Projectors. No, that isn’t your “ExciteBike” video game cartridge, though “Looking Glass” makes compelling use of Nintendo-era textures. “Sonic Monday” offers a spacey, gorgeous shade that other tracks could have benefited from. “Odyssey” is Woolfy’s catchiest groove that, if it successfully catapults him into the mainstream’s limelight, will lure him into the 2009 One Hit Wonder bin. Unfortunately, these moments can’t compensate for pretentious and embarrassing follies like “Oh Missy,” moments that occur far too often through this release.
by Jory Spadea
