Film Dunce is a weekly series in which one of our writers finally succumbs to the lure of a movie that has long been a big part of our culture that they have never seen. Seen through fresh eyes, we evaluate, enjoy and sometimes get bored by these titans of mental real estate.
As part of our ongoing series on the work of Richard Linklater, I decided to watch each and every one of his films in order. But when I arrived at his 2005 remake of The Bad News Bears, I realized I never saw the 1976 original, starring Walter Matthau. Linklater’s remake drew mostly negative reviews and being a purist, I felt like I should see the original before tackling the remake. After debating which to watch first, I decided to go with the Matthau and snagged a copy from Netflix.
The Bad News Bears, with its simple story of alcoholic ex-pitcher Morris Buttermaker “coaching” a little league team of fuck-ups and fat kids, made waves upon its release for its combination of kiddies and crassness. However, it’s not Buttermaker, hired by a politician to coach a team of kids rejected by all the other teams, that does the bulk of the swearing. Rather than portray kids as the sweet or slyly precocious youngsters seen in many of Hollywood’s older films, The Bad News Bears shows modern middle-school aged kids for what they really are: foul-mouthed, sarcastic little bastards. Watching Bad News Bears in 2010 provided me with a prime example of why ’70s filmmaking still has fucking balls. Take a scene where Buttermaker attempts to console the token black kid Ahmad Abdul Rahim (Erin Blunt) who can’t catch a fly ball to save his life.
“There was nothing easy about those fly balls, Ahmad. They were tough chances! The sun was in your eyes!” Buttermaker says to the Ahmad who has thrown off his uniform and has climbed a tree. Divine whatever racial undertones you want about what director Michael Ritchie is implying here.
“Don’t give me none of your honky bullshit, Buttermaker. I know they were easy,” Ahmad responds. We don’t hear dialogue this racially frank anymore unless we’re watching a blaxploitation spoof.
Oh yeah, let me add one more gem from foul-mouthed shortstop Tanner Boyle (Chris Barnes): “All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, spics, niggers, pansies and a booger-eatin’ moron!”
Despite its dunderheaded, ugly epithets, The Bad News Bears is actually more acutely aware than shit like Crash. Rather than put people from all races in a pressure cooker and supply them with crap dialogue intended to tread on liberal, white guilt, The Bad News Bears flips a refreshing bird to propriety and like its team of misfits, makes no bones about its lowbrow humor, remaining a scrappy contender unwilling to kowtow to the harness of political correctness. And how could it succeed otherwise? Its entire premise is that an unapologetic drunk leads a team populated with fatsos, pansies and whiners to the Little League Championship game.
The Bad News Bears also notches points for its cast. Matthau’s Buttermaker is both lovable and despicable (how fucking funny is it that he drives around in a convertible with an open container while letting kids ride sans seatbelts- PC be damned) and the team is populated by actors who have resurfaced as of late after washing out in early adulthood (Tatum O’Neal and Jackie Earle Haley). Vic Morrow also turns in a nuanced performance as rival Coach Roy Turner, one that is difficult to watch knowing the actor would meet a horrible, untimely end just six years later.
But it’s the laissez-faire spirit that keeps The Bad News Bears viable today, especially after watching Linklater’s limp dick remake.
“Hey Yankees…,” Tanner shouts at the end of the film to the rival team. “You can take your apology and your trophy and shove ‘em straight up your ass!” He and the rest of the team then douse themselves in the beers Buttermaker gave them moments before. In the remake, Buttermaker goes out of his way to comment that the beer is non-alcoholic. Fuck that. I’ll take my bitter foam with alcohol all the way.
by David Harris
