Zeno’s, State College, PA
A good measure for a dive bar is its graffiti in the bathroom. It has been a decade since I used to frequent Zeno’s in State College and that graffiti may be gone or covered over, but its axioms and adages have stayed with me. These surreptitious scrawlings were mostly comical: “Jameson’s was invented to prevent the Irish from ruling the world” or “Jack Daniels was invented so fat girls in Tennessee could get laid.” But among the stupid jokes and “For a good time call…” phone numbers stood out one maxim that has come to define my life: “Everyone is someone else’s weirdo.” Who knew that written on the wall in subterranean bar in a college town, where the ceilings are so low I could barely stand straight, were the words that let me feel free to be myself? - David Harris [Photo: Mars Bar, New York, NY Normally I’m not one for negativity, and the term “dive bar” strikes me as a bit of a dis. I liken it to when a boxer takes a dive in a fight: he knows he shouldn’t do something but for whatever convenient reason, does it anyway. However, I believe a place like Mars Bar in the heart of the Lower East Side embraces the term as it’s such a cavalcade of the grotesque that one can’t help but fall in love with it. Perhaps it’s the place’s immediate proximity to so many upper-class drinking establishments or the contrast of the gradual facelift of the entire area, but Mars Bar reeks of, among many things, a bygone era. It’s a beat-’em-up-move-’em-out great place to grab a Budweiser to catch up with friends as you all watch a passed out guy on a stool piss himself next to the bathroom. Seriously, I’ve been there a handful of times and there’s always been at least one guy with his pants pissed nodding off against the exact room designated for putting piss. Still, the jukebox is full of a fantastic collection of punk rock and mix CDs, the walls are graffitied up in the least glamorous way possible and every seat is torn up. Dive right in! - Chaz Kangas [Photo: The Plaza, Madison, WI Hook a sharp left on State Street a few blocks before the Capitol and you’ll pass the Mecca of independent movie-rental shops. Seriously, the place has everything from crazy independents to obscure foreign films out of countries that are hard to find on a map. It’s so very special that one can easily overlook the Plaza a few doors down. On the scale of dive bars, the hipster-oriented pub is relatively classy, but that doesn’t mean it’s the kind of place that doesn’t demand a thorough washing of the hands after walking out the door. More importantly, the PBR flows cheaply and in abundant amounts. There are other truly grimy dives nearby–the sticky, sweaty, sketchy hole-in-the-wall Paradise comes to mind, where I imagine pocket shivs are more common than appropriate tipping –but I can’t think of a better place to drink a cheap pitcher of PBR than the Plaza. Some nights that low-brow brew is the only drink that really fits the occasion. - Michael Merline [Photo: Crocodile Lounge, New York, NY I have a very vivid memory of the first time I went to the Croc Lounge in Manhattan: I am sitting on a bar stool at a high, retro diner type of table. There is a dull sheen from low-wattage bulbs flooding the narrow front room, which holds a few people but not enough to call it a crowd. It’s only 7pm after all; I’ve been drinking for a couple of hours. I can see into the back room, where bluish light comes from a pair of skee ball tables (only one operational), a Big Buck Safari machine, and some fucking impossible light bulb puzzle game. Your humble narrator, typically ambivalent towards pizza, is shoving slices into her face like she won’t get another free personal pizza just by ordering another drink. In a few minutes, this vegetarian of many years will be gleefully pretending to hunt endangered animals, then trading turns at the one working skee ball table with friends. But for now I am blissfully masticating my free pizza and undaintily gulping my cheap, whiskey-based drink. “This was a great idea,” I blurt through the half-chewed thin crust. Do I mean the pizza? The drinking? The games? All of the above? I have been in bars with games before. Hell, I’ve been in barcades! The Yelp reviews describe an average place with average pizza and a lot of college kids, but in my mind there has been no better moment in dive bar history. - Katie Bolton [Photo: Punter’s Pub, Boston, MA Any day of the week you can walk by Punter’s Pub and you’re never quite sure it will be open. Sometimes there’s no notice, other times it’s because something isn’t up to code; but most of the time it’s because another underage Northeastern University student was caught inside. Only two NU bars are open until 2am and Our House East cards a lot harder. If it is open, Punter’s has everything you can want from a dive bar: cheap beer, cash only, pool and darts, creepy regulars, bartenders that know your name and throw you a free pint. However, there are two significantly redeemable factors that make Punter’s my favorite dive. First, they have huge table taps that hold an incredible amount of beer for around $25. Secondly, there is a hole in the wall. This is not a turn of phrase. There is literally a hole in the wall from whence you can order food from the pizza place next door. The combination of cheap beer, cheap cheesy fries and cheap pizza make this my favorite dive bar. Do yourself a favor though, and do not look at anything when they turn the lights on after you inevitably close the bar. Just leave. Quickly. - Tris Miller [Photo: Whistle Stop Bar, San Diego, CA Ever since I moved out to San Diego I ached for a suitable replacement for my favorite club/dive bar in Gainesville, FL: The Atlantic, a bar/venue/club that did both an indie dance night and a ’60s dance night called “Twist and Shout.” After careful searching, the Whistle Stop will have to do, boasting a great, affordable bar capable of serving an assortment of cocktails, local draft beers, and cheap bottled shit. I’m a regular attendee of their bi-weekly pop culture trivia nights, where my friends and I often fail to dominate the team that wins every month. One day we’ll get our crown back. More than that, the Whistle Stop hosts several monthly dance nights, including highlights such as a hip-hop night called Booty Bassment and a Britpop night called Fucking in the Bushes. Britpop night! Whistle Stop, I’ve learned to love you. - Danny Djeljosevic [Photo:
