Confession time: I spent two nights in Philadelphia a couple years ago and didn’t have a cheesesteak. Yes, Philadelphians, I know its heresy, sacrilegious, insane and just plain stupid. My only excuse is that I spent most of my time at Citizens Bank Park or at a bar with a tasty Victory Hop Devil in front of me. On the other hand, if you visited my hometown of Chicago and didn’t have a Chicago-style hot dog or some deep dish pizza I would verbally attack you. To make amends, I decided that my return trip to the only city I’ve ever received a death threat in would be full of cheesesteak eating.
Originally, I wanted to go to the two most famous places, Pat’s and Geno’s. However, after doing some research on Geno’s and the owner Joey Vento, I eventually came to the conclusion that I had no interest in supporting his business and his views. The grandson of Italian immigrants who spoke only broken English and entered the country before there were immigration restrictions, he believes that all of his customers should order in English. Good thing he’s already here so he can drive around in his Hummer and slap an ungodly amount of neon on his storefront. In the end, I decided to go to Geno’s arch-rival Pat’s, Jim’s on South Street and Carmen’s in Reading Terminal Market.
Pat’s King of Steaks
1237 East Passyunk Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19147
Pat’s is the place generally credited with creating the steak sandwich as well as the cheesesteak, though Geno’s will dispute the latter. So I figured, why not go to the original to get my first-ever cheesesteak? Nestled next to a community baseball field and among the narrow streets of a working class neighborhood in South Philly, I think my favorite part about Pat’s is that you can picture it just about anywhere in America. It’s just a small, family owned operation that happens to be pretty damn good at what they do.
Pat’s is all about efficiency. There is a sign posted instructing you how to order; it does not say anything about ordering in English, unlike their rival across the street. If the pressure of following simple instructions is too much for you and you screw up, you’ll be sent to the end of the line to try again. My sandwich was a “whiz wit,” which means a steak sandwich with Cheez Whiz and onions. If you don’t want onions you say, “wit-out.” Easy. You order, pay with one hand, and get the sandwich slapped into the other at almost the same time.
Really fast and, as it turns out, really good. The Cheez Whiz is what made it. It took a nice simple steak sandwich with some diced onions and turned it into a sloppy, gooey, delicious mess. The meat was nice and moist; the bun stayed dry and crisp. Out of the three cheesesteaks I ate, this was by far the best.
Jim’s Steaks
400 South Street
Philadelphia, PA 19147
http://www.jimssteaks.com/
The following day was nice and warm so I took a walk down to South Street in search of what seems to be the favorite alternative cheesesteak spot after Pat’s and Geno’s. Several people have mentioned Jim’s as the best place in Philly, usually accompanied with a derisive sneer aimed at the Big Two. Whoever says this probably wants to come off as knowing Philly really well. Or they don’t actually like food. The sandwich was pretty awful.
This time, I got a cheesesteak with onions and provolone. The biggest failing of this sandwich was the meat; it was bland and very dry. This was in spite of the chef’s best efforts, since he routinely doused the meat in oil while it was on the griddle. The meat didn’t absorb the oil though; it merely clung to meat and then soaked into what was a very good bun until it got all mushy. Worse yet, the provolone wasn’t strong enough so I barely noticed there was cheese on my sandwich.
There were two things I did like about Jim’s though. Most importantly, they serve beer. Then, in direct contrast with Pat’s, Jim’s gives off a “city diner” feel. It has a very simplistic black, white and chrome color scheme with an art deco finish. For those wishing to dine alone, you can just pull up a stool and sit at the counter facing the wall while you peruse the many autographs decorating the walls.
Carmen’s Famous Italian Hoagies and Cheesesteaks
Reading Terminal Market
12th & Arch Streets
Philadelphia, PA 19107
http://www.readingterminalmarket.org/merchants/view/52
For my third cheesesteak, I decided to get off the traditional route and go for a combination of the two sandwiches Philly is known for: the cheesesteak and the hoagie. Some quick research told me that the best place in the city for a cheesesteak hoagie was Carmen’s, conveniently located right next to my hotel in the spectacular Reading Terminal Market.
I made the mistake of going around 1pm, during the lunch break of the two environmental conventions that were in town. There was a decent sized line but I thought I would get to eat in a reasonable amount of time; I mean, how long does it take to bang out some sandwiches? However, it took almost 45 minutes until I had a sandwich in my hand. Surprisingly, this was because of the owner, who was operating the register and taking orders. He would listen to an order, only hear part of it, start talking to another customer or an employee then have you repeat the order. Only he still wouldn’t hear all of it and he would ask you, “Tomato? Lettuce? Onion?” It’s one thing being nice and friendly during a lull, but when you have a line, get the damn food in the hands of the customers.
Now, it would have been worth the wait if the sandwich was a mind blowing experience, but it wasn’t. I got the cheesesteak hoagie topped with onion, lettuce, tomato, mayo and white American cheese. It was pretty good; the tomato and mayo added a great dimension to the cheesesteak and the lettuce added a satisfying crunch. But waiting 45 minutes for an above average sandwich isn’t worth it. Definitely take a trip to Reading Terminal Market and if you go at an odd time, get a sandwich from Carmen’s. Just don’t wait in that line. Go early, go late; just avoid the line and the owner inexplicably holding up service and throwing away business.
After trying cheesesteaks with the three types of cheese, whiz is the way to go. I don’t want a sandwich with a hint of cheese, I want a sandwich with steak AND cheese; Whiz is the best way to get this. But assuming you aren’t a food masochist like me and just want to try one cheesesteak instead of eating one a day, go to Pat’s. They’ve been doing it the longest and they’re still around for a reason. It’s a good, solid, no-frills sandwich that’s served up at an incredible pace. Better yet, get a cheesesteak with someone from the area, have them take you to their favorite place. Unless it’s Jim’s.
