The Indie Cred Test

by Staff of Chunklet Magazine

Rating: 4.5/5.0

Publisher: Chunklet Industries

Have you ever wished that there were some kind of physical test you could gauge your coolness with outside of how many tall boys you can down without crashing your fixed gear? The fine folks at Chunklet magazine have been working on just that, mostly so they could stop paying for damage done to their cars by drunken hipsters, but also so they could definitively prove what a douche you are. With The Indie Cred Test, the staff of Chunklet have independently published a hearty 188 page test manual that is retro enough in design to make you look cool for having it on your coffee table, but honest enough to make you want to quit the life you’re doing such a horrible job at leading.

The Indie Cred Test is a seriously sardonic text that shines a light on the absurdity of trends, those who follow them and those who judge them. As the preliminary missive written by Chunklet staffer Chad Baker reads, “On the unforgiving, side-splitting pages that follow, you can look forward to being undermined and humbled. Your very existence is a myth. Have a nice day.” No one is safe in this whip-smart parody of standardized tests as it forces its users to assess every aspect of their lifestyle through a variety of fill in the blank, multiple choice, short answer and yes/no questions. Broken down into sections covering music, cinema, literature, career and lifestyle choices, the Chunklet staff points out how attempting to be cool and avoiding any attempts at being cool are equally futile. Extra informative supplements are given through charts (Should You Be in a Band?, Are You Raising a Hipster Baby?), an Online Music Journalist application form and lists explaining plausible reasons for marriage, suicide and giving up drinking. The Indie Cred Test is sponsored by the Bank of Indie Cred, which is humorously endorsed by notables such as Ben Gibbard and Tom Waits whose testimonies, along with the “Advanced Praise for The Indie Cred Test (From Famous Dead People)” offer sharp-tongued parodies of the actual endorsements frequently fueling exactly the kind of bullshit Chunklet is calling their peers out on.

Clever and shamelessly hyperbolic, The Indie Crest Test is a winning coffee table book for those with the ability to laugh at themselves as well as those with a penchant for laughing at the expense of others. In their scrutiny of things it is likely they all somehow participate in, the Chunklet staff asserts the statement found on the test book’s cover, “We’re all in this together. Except you. You’re a dick,” providing a sense of community among the unavoidable despair you’ll feel once The Indie Cred Test confirms your suspicion that, yes, you are everything you hate.

by Sam Gordon

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