With athletes from all over the world gearing up to compete at the highest level at the Rio Olympics next month (to say nothing of avoiding diseases and, apparently, having a great deal of sex), we here at Spectrum Culture felt it was appropriate to review what songs these great champions will be knocking to. Behold: the top 10 streaming songs from Brazil.

1. Dennis DJ – “Maladramente

One expects “Maladramente” to unfold in a certain way, given the conventions that are often associated with dance music in the Western Hemisphere. However, Dennis DJ isn’t particularly interested in playing by American rules. Whereas American dance music seems to be all about the bass drop these days, “Maladramente” eschews those dynamics in favor of a more kaleidoscopic take on rhythm. Trying to pin the song down to one style or genre is difficult; some may see it as disorganized. However, “Maladramente” takes so many unexpected twists and turns that it’s hard not to get sucked in and just go along for the ride. Grade: B

2. Drake – “One Dance” (feat. Wizkid & Kyla)

Turns out Brazilian tastes in pop music have something in common with North American—a good percentage of the charts, in fact. Drake’s “One Dance” is second on their top 10 list and first on the list of most mundane, meandering songs. Unquestionably, the rhythm has a familiar and Latin-flavored timing to it, despite the fact that Drake is an international star from Toronto and he’s about as Latin as a bowl of Poutine. Nigerian-born Wizkid certainly brings some understated international flavor and Kyla…well, Kyla stutters through a “Baby, I like your stuff” sample that can only be called a hook by a slingshot-level stretch. As is often the case with this style of R&B, the real star here is the Auto-tune—that reliable, apparently international hit-making technology. Grade: C-

3. Calvin Harris – “This Is What You Came For” (feat. Rihanna)

It’s official. Calvin Harris’ “This Is What You Came For,” featuring Rihanna, has become just as popular in Brazil as it has in the U.S. and around the world. That’s not surprising. It’s a chill EDM house-indebted track whose beat hits all the right notes for a night of joyful, carefree dancing. Opening on deceptively subtle keys and frankly understated vocals from Rihanna, Harris’ production quickly ups the tempo and kicks in the electronic distortion. As a none-too-rare modern house throwback, it’s a little too homogenized, a little too innocuous, which is especially surprising with a vocalist like Rihanna. But it’s still undeniably catchy. Grade: B-

4. Maiara & Maraisa – “10% (Ao Vivo em Goiânia)

Two things to be gleaned right off the bat, if Google Translate and ears can be trusted: Maiara & Maraisa are sisters (maybe twin sisters?) and this particular track is a live version “10%.” This recording is potentially from a DVD as well, though Translate makes that less of a sure thing. At the risk of totally reading this song wrong, “10%” comes off like a ‘90s heartbreak ballad ready-built for top 40 adult contemporary. Somewhere, a secretary in Brazil is thoroughly enjoying this at their desk. Grade: B-

5. Fifth Harmony – “Work from Home” (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

Who knew that it took five people to make a knockoff of the kind of song that Rihanna makes effortlessly every year or two? To be fair, “Work from Home” isn’t just a low-rent clone of RiRi’s most recent hit; it’s a low-rent clone of most of the pop charts these days. It’s a song that sounds bored with its own existence, as if the group and their handlers knew that they had to check off certain requirements (R&B-infused nightclub rhythms? Check. Dancehall keyboards? Check) in order to get a top 40 hit. Even Ty Dolla $ign sounds barely invested in his verse. I know that there isn’t a whole lot to expect from a group formed on a defunct reality TV show, but if you’re going to pander, at least try to have fun doing it. Grade: D

6. MCs Zaac & Jerry – “Bumbum Granada” (KondZilla)

If there was a music show that featured only artists that sounded as though they’d just sat down at a digital audio workstation and smoked a dangerously inadvisable amount of weed, you might expect Snoop Dogg to headline it. The fact is, however, that despite the sound of his music, Snoop’s fairly comprehensible. Should he invite MC’s Zaac & Jerry to open up the show, he may find his audience left in a cloud, completely confounded. It’s a catchy little R&B number about bombs, girls’ butts and throwing up. It may be Miley Cyrus’ stage routine or possibly something else—the thin thread by which those themes are tied together is lost in a skunky puff of ganja. Grade: B+

7. Matheus & Kauan – “O Nosso Santo Bateu

The sincere piano keys and somber, heartfelt vocal delivery from brother duo Matheus & Kauan are certainly enough to make you think “O Nosso Santo Bateu” is a simple, unadorned love ballad and maybe not one that would warrant such a high ranking on the charts. That is, until the vibrant horns and Latin/Caribbean percussion kick in. Turns out, “O Nosso Santo Bateu” belongs to the category of Caribbean numbers that reel in the percussive breakdowns just enough to highlight the kind of earnest, soulful belting about love that, unsurprisingly, gets you to the top of the charts. In fairness, neither option truly constitutes anything new, but the combination only achieves a modicum of novelty. Grade: C+

8. Mike Posner – “I Took a Pill in Ibiza” (Seeb Remix)

Fun fact: Mike Posner’s original version of this song, while being a big ole slice of stinky cheddar, has real pathos to it. Yes, the dude is still singing about doing party drugs with a celebrity DJ of yesteryear, but he’s at least trying to convey something approximating youthful anxiety. This Seeb remix robs the song of that depth and replaces it with a mall-kiosk-ass drop. Not every song needs an EDM remix, Seeb. Let Mike Posner cook without getting this washed-out, second-rate Calvin Harris all over everything. Grade: D-

9. The Chainsmokers – “Don’t Let Me Down” (feat. Daya)

At first, “Don’t Let Me Down” seems to upend preconceived notions about EDM. Sure, it plays with dynamics in a very traditional way, but the guitar loops indicate a more pop/rock song structure. The potential for something interesting and fancifully new is there…right up until the bass drop. The climax that the song builds up to barely registers as a climax at all, and the song goes limp as a result. Still, Daya’s performance throughout is quite good, especially when she gets to try some vocal heroics as the song fades out. Ultimately, though, “Don’t Let Me Down” as a whole is more frustrating than it should be. Grade: C+

10. Rihanna – “Work” (feat. Drake)

It’s a tragedy that someone somewhere decided that this song, with its endlessly infectious hook and its sultry desperation, needed a b-level Drake verse in the middle of it. The ghostwriter must have been off that week. No matter, not even the Canadian King of Me-rap can sink Rihanna’s subtly deep, humming, sweaty pop onslaught. I hope she makes three smash singles a year for the rest of her life. Come for the intelligible lyrics, stay for the steel drums, fast forward through the Drake so you can get back to the hook. Grade: A-

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